The Power of Your Words

We hear all the time about the power of positive thinking, but what about the power of positive speaking? No matter how bad our thoughts may be, at least we can keep them to ourselves. Words, on the other hand, can never be taken back. Who can forget the sting of words that hurt, or the comfort of words meant to heal? Contrary to the adage, “Sticks and stones my break my bones, but words will never hurt me,” negative words, even offhanded remarks directed at nobody in particular, can weaken our bodies and deflate our spirits. In his book The No Complaining Rule, author Jon Gordon reveals this about the power of negative words:

• Negativity increases stress and pain, and reduces energy and success.
• Ninety percent of doctor’s visits are related to stress, a consequence of negativity.
• One negative person can create a miserable environment for everyone else.
• Negative people have fewer friends.
• Costs the U.S. economy between $250 and $300 billion per year in lost productivity, according to the Gallup poll.

In a former job of mine, not a day went by for two years that co-workers weren’t discussing the odds of whether or not our department would experience more layoffs. (Nothing saps your enthusiasm for work more than believing your company is plotting to get rid of you.) Ultimately, I wasn’t let go, but I decided to resign anyway. The atmosphere was just too negative. I gladly left behind a perfectly “good” job for the uncertain, yet more exciting and energizing world of entrepreneurship. When you are working for yourself, you develop a subconscious need to protect yourself from negativity. You also discover the immeasurable influence that positive communications gives you as a leader. Here are some powerful statements on the power of positive words from a very diverse set of leaders:

“Few things in the world are more powerful than a positive push. A smile. A word of optimism and hope.”
- Richard M. DeVos, billionaire businessman

“Nine tenths of education is encouragement.”
- Anatole France, Nobel Prize-winning writer

“Remember, man does not live on bread alone: sometimes he needs a little buttering up.”
- John C. Maxwell, bestselling author and leadership coach

“One word or a pleasing smile is often enough to raise up a saddened and wounded soul.”
- Saint Therese de Lisieux, Catholic saint and Carmelite nun

Until recently, I regarded positive communications as a necessary life skill, an essential part of emotional intelligence, a way to get ahead, and simply a way to be decent to others. But it turns out that positive words have even deeper meaning than that. To use them is to honor God. George Fisk, the pastor at my church, explained the spiritual significance of our words. As he pointed out to us last Sunday, the Bible has this to say about negative words:

We all stumble in many ways. If anyone is never at fault in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to keep his whole body in check. When we put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us, we can turn the whole animal. Or take ships as an example. Although they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are steered by a very small rudder wherever the pilot wants to go. Likewise the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell.

All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.
- James 3:2-10 NIV

Wow, what a contrast God’s way is with that of our culture. No wonder it takes so much work to stay positive. Have you seen the news lately? As bad as hearing about murder and mayhem is the constant bickering over who said what and how wrong it was. We don’t communicate with our words today so much as spar with them. To overcome our sound-bite culture and get back to genuine and thoughtful communication, George proposes a simple idea – one loaded with the power to empower. “James tells us the tongue ‘is a fire’,” says George. “What’s the first thing we think about doing when we catch on fire? Run! But that’s not what we’re supposed to do, is it?” he asks. “Instead, we should stop, drop and roll.” George illustrates with bible verses that take on fresh relevance in light of this discussion:

1. Stop. Think before you speak. Like James said, ““My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (James 1:19). Do you really want to risk damaging a relationship before you get a chance to hear the meaning behind someone’s words?

2. Drop. Drop your argument for a moment and seek God's perspective. For example, when the crowd accused the woman of adultery and threatened her with stoning, Jesus knew she was wrong. But he assumed a position of humility, literally kneeling down in front of her. George points out that in doing this, Jesus probably felt closer to God and more capable of speaking words of redemption. “Dropping” saves us from acting rashly and emotionally, allowing us to reconnect with our purpose and communicate from a place of empowerment.

3. Roll. Once you’ve stopped and dropped, feel free to let it roll! By now, you will you be able to choose words of wisdom and use them with confidence.

Positive speaking is a habit that takes practice at first, just like positive thinking does. But as you do it, and surround yourself with others who do it too, it becomes second nature. Remember, it takes 21 days to create a new habit. Just try it and see. Satisfaction guaranteed, or your money back ☺.

Anna Clark is president of EarthPeople, a sustainability consulting firm. She is an author, speaker, and blogger on green living and leadership. Anna lives in Dallas with her husband and two toddlers in one of the first LEED-certified Platinum residences in Texas. Visit www.annamclark.com for more on all things green.